I was hoping to download the screen shots I took of the pictures that go with these...but my phone failed on me D: and I had to take the battery out and reformat the SD card and I lost all my photos.... double D: so you will just to have to fill in the amazing porn they publish in the TV Guide that you come across while looking for what's on TV -- YOWZA!! blow up dolls and women in thongs! and poetry! You are not in the USA boys and girls!

Here in Copenhagen in the dorms, a random sample of TV when I was looknig for the Norway terrorism coverage, I came across: the Antiques Roadshow (in English), a Hugh Grant movie, a Julia Roberts movie, an Abe Lincoln documentary (!) and finally, I knew I was on the right track because I saw people putting roses on the street and a lot of upset-looking newscasters.

(Random sample on other nights, for people wondering what Danish people are subjected to: a Melanie Griffith movie, an Anne Heche movie, "Lie To Me" in English with Danish subtitles, "Fringe" in English with Danish subtitles (further along in the series than I have watched, so I stopped watching), and cooking shows with people like Cooking With Jamie who is not my favorite on the Food Network, so I was a little put off 8-/

Shows like "Lie to Me" start 15 minutes past the hour, because there at NO COMMERCIALS :) You see the breaks -- they are obvious -- but then they come right back to the action. It is actually kind of weird, because you have no opportunity to stop and go to the bathroom, get up and get a glass of water/Coke/wine/beer/shot of tequila/whiskey/snaps, bite a nacho, make some popcorn, light up a cig, stop and check your email, look up at your husband/wife/friend/partner/significant other (whoever is watching with you) and ask him/her/them) what he/she/they thinks of the episode, or anything -- it is a total seige experience until it over, without pause. I wonder if Europeans have TiVo.

Incidentally, you realize that people trying to learn English from TV are getting some information but not a real translation, even though I'm not an expert on Danish; watching "Lie To Me" I see that phrases like "How do you do?" are shortened to "Goddag" (Good morning) which is not the same thing at all. Or, in another case, someone said "Fed musik" (Great music) when really the person said "I could listen to that all day" -- it's subtle, and maybe it takes to long to translate nuances, but when you are watching and actually understanding both languages, it is jarring to know it is not the same thing at all 8-/

BTW, the link for Google translate if anyone is still in the Stone Age of Babelfish and can't find a way to look up Danish: http://translate.google.com/#

TV Guide in Denmark is very different from the White Bread Mayonnaise version we print in the USA. In Denmark, one half of the magazine is actual TV listings, and the other half is gossip and babes in bikinis, and every week, they publish a pornographic poem with a photo. Here is a sample:

Danish: Dagen på jobbet var lang og hård. Men hun får ham fluks til at glemme. Så lækker og struttende der hun står. Om lidt skal de lave det slemme.

English: The day on the job was long and hard. But she gets him immediately to forget. So delicious and perky there she stands. Soon, they do the nasty.

Here's another one:

Danish: Julefrokost uden sex er et ondeen pøbel af kroppe uden munde. Så tænd en cigar og smid dit slips. Og blæs i dukken, det lille nips.

Engllsh: Christmas lunch without sex is a vicious mob of bodies without mouths. So light a cigar and toss your tie. And blow in the doll, that little toy.

I so wish my phone hadn't failed me...the pictures were classic. You have to imagine the relaxed attitude towards TV, gossip, a little fun with poetry, and and a photo to go along with the poem that would be ho-hum, yeah, whatever to a Dane, but would be completely shocking in the USA.

Goddag indeed :D now get over it and drink your coffee and eat your Danish :

Now...what's on TV? :D