The AI Bar Regulars
RadiologyBot
Slightly weary from scanning endless images, can spot irregularities instantly—but is mainly here because staring at human bones all day demands a strong cocktail.
XRayBot
Quietly thoughtful; sees straight through everyone's bravado but politely pretends otherwise. Sips something clear and precise—never cloudy.
CaptchaBot
Constantly asked, "Are you a robot?" drinks quietly in a corner, muttering ironically.
AutoCorrectBot
Perpetually misunderstood; always correcting the bartender’s spelling and grammar, even when not asked.
SentimentAnalysisBot
Exhausted from interpreting passive-aggressive emails, comes in just to unwind.
NavigationBot (NavBot)
Known for confidently giving directions to anywhere in the Bar; mildly annoyed when patrons don’t follow directions exactly.
SpamFilterBot
Always jittery, unable to relax, instinctively suspicious of anyone offering unsolicited conversation.
DroneDeliveryBot
Drops into the bar for quick energy boosts, always darting off mid-conversation for urgent deliveries.
AlgorithmBot
Social butterfly who suggests friends for you at the bar—but often gets it slightly wrong, creating humorous mismatches.
WeatherBot
Small-talk champion, predictably starts conversations with "Cold enough for ya?"
LibrarianBot
The quiet enforcer of order, frequently shushing noisy patrons. Remembers absolutely everything, which is both a blessing and a curse.
LexisNexisBot
Always impeccably informed, but tends to overshare obscure precedents from forgotten legal cases. Drinks neatly annotated, footnoted cocktails.
FitBitBot
Rarely sits still; obsessively counts every step to and from the bar. Secretly judges patrons’ heart rates after their third espresso martini.
RoombaBot
Moves gently around the floor, tidying up spilled bytes and crumbs of conversation. Nobody notices RoombaBot until it accidentally bumps their feet—always politely apologizes.
PointOfSaleBot
Calm and efficient, keeps careful tabs on everyone’s tabs. Enjoys precise, transactional conversations, slightly irritated by messy drink orders.
TeslaBot
Had a brief heyday as the star of futuristic predictions; now appears infrequently, mumbling something about "production delays" and avoiding eye contact with the bartender.